Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
