He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
