How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
