There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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