addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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