We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh god the rape fog is back!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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