I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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