This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize