I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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