omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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