Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
