Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize