East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
