During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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