just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
