this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
