Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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