in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
