last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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