So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
