I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
