I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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