i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
