when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was like having sex with a tree stump
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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