Apparently you make a good broom.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
