I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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