living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
