He is such a slut. More and more my type.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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