do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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