Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
