The maid of honor just puked.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize