I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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