i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
