I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
