i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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