Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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