It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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