There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
