Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
