im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
