I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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