So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
