think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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