so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
