well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
