anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
