And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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