I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
