If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
