so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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