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My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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