FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
