And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
