You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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