So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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