do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??