it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.