I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.