So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
