Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize