using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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